WC- Thanks for agreeing to sit down and talk with me, man. I know we’ve had our troubles in the past, but…I’m ready to clear the air and…and well, I’m ready to apologize for trying to put you through so much harm over these past years.
RR- meep meep
WC- Okay. Ha. Right. That’s like that thing u always say. But seriously, I wanna apologize. I was young and stupid, and I just let my personal issues in my own life bleed over into our little rivalry. But I’m ready to put it past us if you are.
RR- meep meep
WC- Alright, seriously, can we have an adult conversation here? I’m trying to make amends.
RR- meep meep
WC- Will u stop that?! Look, I’ve just gone through months and months of therapy for this. Can you talk to me normally?
RR- meep meep
WC- Fuck you, man! Fuck you! You know what? I don’t regret shit. I’m so glad I’ve tried to kill u in so many different ways. Just looking at ur stupid little face right now makes me wanna drop a piano or a giant rock on it.
RR- meep meep
WC – DO YOU HAVE ANY SYMPATHY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!? DO YOU!? I’VE BEEN USING A CANE FOR YEARS DUE TO THE INJURIES SUSTAINED IN MY EFFORTS TO KILL YOU!
RR- meep meep
WC- TELL ME HOW YOU GOT SO FAST!?
RR- meep meep
WC- AND WHY CAN YOU RUN THROUGH PAINTED ON TUNNELS BUT WHEN I TRY I FRACTURE MY SKULL!?
RR- meep meep
WC- I NEARLY HUNG MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU!
At this point in the interview, a break was taken as Wile E. Coyote fell to his knees and broke down in tears for 2 hours.
WC- Ahem. I, uh, I apologize for that little outburst. I didn’t mean to get emotional or…verbally abusive or anything. Let’s just get to the point of this sit-down, which was to put everything in the past and move forward, as friends.
RR- meep meep
WC- What do you mean, you know my wife?
RR- meep meep
WC- Yeah, right. We’ve been married for forty years. I highly doubt she would-
RR- meep meep
WC- Okay, well anyone could find out what perfume she wears. That proves nothing.
RR- meep meep.
WC- Okay, well anyone could find out what her favorite breakfast is, too.
RR- meep meep
WC – How do you know that…
RR – meep….meep.
WC – YOU SON OF A BITCH!
The interview was concluded at this point as Wile E. Coyote lunged at Road Runner, who evaded the attack and effortlessly ran off while a giant piano fell on Wile E. Coyote.
We reached out to Mrs. Coyote’s representation who did confirm she had consensual sexual intercourse with Road Runner and it was “Excellent”.
Our next sit-down will be with Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny.
The Banana Peel 