One can only assume that when a plane is going down, the passengers on board would most likely prefer to live. In fact, I’d guess that 99.99% of people would choose to live, the 0.01% of course being suicidal people, Tom Cruise, and terrorists showing their commitment to their organization. Yet despite this overwhelming agreement on the outcome we’d choose, there has been an abundant lack of useful strategies created to ensure it. At the moment, the “protocol” is to brace for impact and put on your oxygen mask. As if crouching into your crotch and getting a hit of air will help you not explode into the ground. So no, this is not the best method. The best method is actually quite simple and quite obvious, and that is-
JUMP OUT THAT BITCH AT THE VERY LAST SECOND!
How could no one ever even consider this as NOT the best possible strategy!? If the plane is going down… DON’T STAY IN THE PLANE! THE FUCK!? And I know all these nerd scientists are gonna say “Ohhh well, physics proves that you’d still die”. Mhm, sure, well, physics can suck my balls while I come out of my perfect Simone Biles barrel roll on the ground while I watch you all nosedive and burst into flames.
So, for every person reading this, children especially, next time you’re on a plane, and it’s going down, or even when you feel the slightest bit of turbulence, I urge you to test out this method. Even if you’re 15,000 ft in the air, fuck it. Just give it a go, and if you die, you’ll at least die knowing the folks over here at The Banana Peel will respect the fuck outta you.
The Banana Peel 